Coach Kinsey: January 2013

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

I just finished a two and a half year sprint to complete my bachelor’s degree. I would insert a “yay me!” here, but I can’t take credit for what God did, so . . . Yay God!

Anyways, throughout my schooling I kept finding books I wanted to read; so, I bought them and placed them on hold until I graduated. Recently I went through the house gathering the books into one place, excited that I could now delve in.

Holy smokes! To my surprise I had accumulated sixty books.  Sixty! I started sorting them in order of desire/priority.  In typical Kinsey style I calculated how much reading I would have to do per week to finish in a year.  But I didn't want it to take all year because there were even more books waiting on my wish list at Amazon, and even more books that I want to RE-read. Oh brother.

Learning is an obsession; I don’t just read, I listen to books and podcasts too.  I listen when I drive, clean, cook, exercise, yada yada.  Never any dead space, too much to learn.  Life is short, no time to waste.  Oodles of podcasts and audio books await on my phone.

Then there is Google.  Ahh Google.  A wealth of information at my fingertips.  The husband shakes his head at me in wonder.  We drive down the road and I see something that peaks my interest. Immediately I pull out the phone and start googling.  “Listen to this,” I tell him, “here is the point of water towers.”  Seriously?

But wait that’s not all! I like webinars too. Dare I mention that I have already registered for 12 webinars this year?  Or that I start coaching school this month?

Hold on. Wait a minute. 
Press pause please.

In my life I have read countless books, listened to countless sermons and podcasts, and googled countless sites –Where am I going with all this?  When will I have read or listened to enough?  What am I seeking?  What has it done for me?  Has anything changed?  Does the information make me different or do I just know more?  

I don’t want to learn for the sake of learning I truly want my life to be changed – for the better. 

I am contemplating my feverish ambitions.

My thirst for knowledge springs from a desire to be a better wife, mother, leader, coach, counselor, spiritual director, friend, lover, caretaker, pastor’s wife, and most importantly – a daughter of the King.  In many ways, books and podcasts have been my mentor, my counselor, my spiritual director, and life line.  Some books have touched my life so profoundly that I can no longer be what I was before.

In spite of that, I am questioning my obsession. It borders on mania.  No doubt as soon as these sixty books are read, there will be sixty more lined up.  There is no end in sight.  I must hurry in order to get it all done.

I take all these thoughts to Abba this morning and here is what He says to me:

You need to learn to sit still girl.  It does not come easy for you.  Sometimes what I want you to do is be quiet before me.  There is no need to run after every spiritual growth and development book out there.  You don’t have to listen to every podcast or attend every webinar . . . You must learn to be still and to be in my presence without an agenda.  I will teach you all you need to know and I will point you to what you need to read.  I’ve got this baby girl.  There is more wisdom and understanding that comes in my presence then you will ever find in any book or podcast.  Be still and know that I am God.  I am your loving Father.  I know you inside and out, upside and down.  I know exactly what I want to do in you and through you.  I will accomplish my purpose and prepare you for your mission.  It is time to stop chasing growth – it’s time to sit like Mary at my feet.  Let this be your Mary year.”

Let this be your Mary year.

I like the ring of that.  I’ve got Martha’s role down to a T.

My response:

I hear you Papa.  I want to learn this discipline of being still. I’m tired of the feverish pursuit of growth and change. The truth is, it is your Holy Spirit that will transform me into your likeness with ever increasing glory.  I want to be like Mary.  I want to learn from YOU.

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that 
they were unschooled, ordinary men, 
they were astonished and they took note that 
these men had been with Jesus.  Acts 4:13 NIV

My Sunday school teacher shared this verse with us last Sunday.  It practically slapped me in the face.  Whoa!  Oh that I might not be known for my knowledge or expertise . . .oh that it may be said of me, "They recognized her as a woman who had been with Jesus."  I think that only comes from being a Mary.