Coach Kinsey: June 2015

Letting God Hold My Hurts

Yesterday I received a hostile email from a close family member.  It rocked the rest of my day. I have been weighed.  I have been measured.  I have been found wanting.  Oh me.

There has been undercurrent with this person for years.  Finally it bubbled to the top and spewed over toward me.  I had no idea.  I was stunned, shocked, and outraged.  I felt hurt, misunderstood, unappreciated, unloved, and unknown. 

Relational fractures are painful.  I want an immediate fix; let's deal with them face-to-face and right away.  Sadly, that's not always possible.  

Sometimes the other party only wants to throw stones – not make peace.  Go ahead and add powerless to my feelings list.  I really hate feeling powerless.  It’s like being bound and gagged.  I feel like I can’t breathe.

What to do.  What to do. What to do.

Here’s what I did:

I walked through each accusation, acknowledged the pain, and sincerely apologized for any part I played in it. I reminded myself that behind the angry words is a hurting person.  This is extremely hard to remember when I feel a knife in my own heart. Just sayin.

I also took my pain to Abba, not to the hostile family member.  “What do you think about me Abba?” “What do you think about this situation?”

His words to me (I’m paraphrasing because He said a lot!):

Embrace the feelings Kinsey girl.  Don’t rush past them like you normally do.  It feels yucky.  It is yucky.  It’s okay to hurt.  It will sting for a while, just like a cut or scrape, but the sting will go away in time.  Let me hold your hurt, let me comfort you.

This situation is much bigger than you.  You are powerless to affect change. You’ve done what you can, now leave it to me.  And just remember that I don’t see you the way that person does.  I cherish you.  You are “Fantastic, That’s You.”

Abba is the real comfort - no matter what others think, I’m cherished by Him.  He sees my flaws, knows my mistakes and sins, yet He loves me. 

It’s being anchored in His love that allows me to pick myself up and move forward, with an ache in my heart but a smile on my face.  It’s His love that enables me to respond with grace instead of retaliation.   

And it’s just like Abba to remind me of a Louis Armstrong song, “Fantastic, That’s You.”  It’s a love song He gave me just a few days ago.  How timely!  

 He knew the email was coming.  I played it over and over while I wrote out my response.  I’m playing it right now. 

I love how He loves me.

And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter,
that he may abide with you for ever.  John 14:16 KJB

Here's a link to the song: