Coach Kinsey: July 2013

EOY! Huh?

“Are you going to take care of that bowl in the sink?”  

A simple question, but boy howdy did it raise my hackles!  My thoughts immediately went down a dark path “Seriously?  You’re going to point out a bowl to me when I’ve done yada, yada, yada for you for thirty  years? Let me tell you something mister, I could leave a thousand bowls in the sink and you will never, never, EVER match all the cleaning up I’ve done after you!”  I wanted to fling a bowl at my husband’s head (the largest and heaviest one I could find).  

Thankfully God restrained my tongue and my arm. Later, after I quieted down I could hear Him say, “Kinsey girl, you and Rick have not created a safe environment for each other.  Neither one of you can receive correction or instruction because you are bankrupt when it comes to pointing out the good.  Y'all need to start observing the good in each other. Notice what each other is doing and point it out.  Once you feel safe, valued, and appreciated, then you can  help each other do better.” (Yes, God says "y'all").

God was right.  He always is. (Insert eye roll)

So Rick and I became intentional about noticing the good. We got notebooks and started recording all the good things we saw each other doing.   What fun to pick up our notebooks and discover that we were being noticed and given credit.  We wrote serious things, we wrote silly things, we wrote kind and even flirtatious thing.  It worked well.  Eventually we tossed the notebooks and opted for email.  Many, many months later we are still doing it. We call it, “Eyes on You.”

The Eyes on You email subject line reads, EOY (short for Eyes on You).  Somewhere along the way we started having on-the-spot-EOY-callouts (pronounced it sounds like Leroy).  

 “Hey, EOY for fixing mom lunch.” 
 “EOY back to you for bringing in the mail”
 “EOY for getting the oil changed.”
 "EOY for getting my clothes out of the dryer." 

We're EOYing each other! (Pun intended). How fun is that?

Now here’s another little tidbit that I discovered.  When I EOY Rick, I mentally run through the day and take stock of all the good things he did, big and small.  As I type the list my heart grows with love and appreciation.  It’s amazing how the good deeds add up when I stop to look for them. I’m finding that this little exercise pays off in huge dividends.

Eyes on You, nurturing relational safety.  Who knew?