Taking Me Out of My Comfort Zone

I was hired to write children’s curriculum for a after-school bible club that meets in public schools.  Yep, you heard me right – PUBLIC schools.  Currently clubs are being held in 30 schools throughout the greater Birmingham area.  These are mostly unchurched children – about 2000.  Wow.  Praise God.

The curriculum stretched out for viewing at one time

I was actually first hired to do recruitment – which falls much more in line with my natural talents – tapping into public speaking, etc.  But as the Lord would have it (and trust me, it was definitely God), I ended up writing the curriculum.  

Second and third grade is printed,  fourth and fifth grade curriculum is now being prepped for press. It’s been a huge project and my attentions have been spread thin between college, School of Spiritual Direction, and now coaching school. 

So how does this fit into my spiritual journey? 

One, I did not want to do this.  I begged God to find someone else, or even to bring me help.   My pleading went much like Moses at the burning bush, “But Lord!  This isn’t my strength!”  And much like Gideon, “I’m nobody! The least of the least, send someone else.” God completely ignored my whining.

Two, I’ve never been called upon to do something so outside my comfort zone.  Additionally, I’ve never felt this incompetent in my life.  Typically, I have confidence in my abilities – this took me to a whole other level. I have been completely, and I mean completely dependent on God.  Nothing has come easy with this project.  It’s been very much like finding my way around a pitch black room.

Three, I’ve learned through this experience that God will call us out of our comfort zone and ask us to do things that we literally can’t do. But He can.  It’s amazing to see it transpire – to get positive feedback – and some confirmation along the way. 

Like Gideon, God whittled his army down to 300 men, and they won the battle by crashing clay jars, holding up torches, and blowing trumpets – God did the rest.  Incredible.  

 Gideon could boast in nothing but the Lord. 

Neither can I.  That must be the point.

I’ve heard people say that when God calls you to do something it will fall in line with your strengths and spiritual gifts.  When God calls you to do something it will be rewarding and fulfilling and will bring you great joy.  Hmmmm.  Not so sure that is always the case.  Wonder what Moses or Gideon would say?

This I am sure of, God can and will use whoever He wants for whatever He wants.  It’s about Him and His purposes.  Whether the task or assignment is joyful is hardly the point.  The point is that He gets the glory. 

I’m reasonably happy with the curriculum.  I don’t think it’s nearly as phenomenal as Sally Lloyd-Jones’ book, “The Jesus Storybook Bible.”  But I can confidently say that it is better in theological content than most children’s curriculum I’ve reviewed.  But really, God remains the judge on this.  It’s His work from start to finish.  I was just the “nobody” He selected for the task.

I also know, that as I have piloted this curriculum with a group of boys the past three years, God has stirred a spiritual hunger and awareness in them that blows me away. They are getting it. Whoa.

Aslan is definitely on the move.

 

I'm not sure how God will use all of this. But, me thinks God and I will share great laughter and rejoicing over this one day.  Perhaps with many children who came to know Christ through Discovery Clubs.  Looking forward to eternity.

It Feels Like Home . . .a story for my coaching friends

Leaning against the doorway of the kitchen as my mother washed the dishes, I prattled on about my school day. But mom had no use for third grade anecdotes. She turned her head toward me and with a sneer on her face said, “You talk too much.” 

Bam!  A lump the size of a grapefruit formed in my throat. My chest tightened and tears threatened.  Taking my cue, I left the room.  The serpent took his cue and whispered to my heart, “You’re stupid and uninteresting.” 

Some of my soul withered that day.

At the tender age of 8, I stopped sharing my life with mom, and became guarded about what I shared with others. That pattern continued well into my adult years.

But everyone longs to be heard. Including me. To be heard is to be valued. To be heard is to be validated and esteemed. To be heard is to be loved. 

And then . . .I found a way to be heard.  Quite by accident. 

In high school, we had a choice between a science project or oration.  I hated science projects (I mean really hated), so I chose to read a poem before the student body.  How hard could that be?  For the first time in my life all eyes were on me, all ears were listening, and . . . they liked it. I won second place.  Whoa! Maybe I wasn't stupid and uninteresting. My  soul expanded a bit.

Some years later I joined Toastmasters (a communication and leadership development club).  I earned every certificate they offered and received their highest honors.  Trophies, ribbons, and plaques adorned my walls.  They all whispered in concert, “We like her, we like what she has to say.” I felt validated, significant, and loved.  My heart dreamed of larger audiences and bigger trophies.

That was fourteen years ago.  Since then, my interest being a great public speaker has disappeared.  

Jesus showed me what my ambitions were really about. They were about a little Kinsey wanting her mother's attention. Wanting her mother to love and value her.  Oh.

Jesus supplanted that terrible lie Satan buried in my heart; the lie I agreed with for so many years.  Jesus spoke truth to me, “Kinsey girl, I’m  interested in you. You are my treasure.  I want to hear all about your day.  Everything about you matters to me.”  He wiped my tears. I leaned back against His chest and exhaled; I was home. I felt valued, significant, and loved.

So dear coaching friends, I want to encourage you to never underestimate the power of listening.  We are Abba's ears.  When we listen well we create a space for people where they they feel valuable, significant, and loved.  We create a space that feels like home.

How cool is that?

What about you, what stories do you have about the power of listening?

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

I just finished a two and a half year sprint to complete my bachelor’s degree. I would insert a “yay me!” here, but I can’t take credit for what God did, so . . . Yay God!

Anyways, throughout my schooling I kept finding books I wanted to read; so, I bought them and placed them on hold until I graduated. Recently I went through the house gathering the books into one place, excited that I could now delve in.

Holy smokes! To my surprise I had accumulated sixty books.  Sixty! I started sorting them in order of desire/priority.  In typical Kinsey style I calculated how much reading I would have to do per week to finish in a year.  But I didn't want it to take all year because there were even more books waiting on my wish list at Amazon, and even more books that I want to RE-read. Oh brother.

Learning is an obsession; I don’t just read, I listen to books and podcasts too.  I listen when I drive, clean, cook, exercise, yada yada.  Never any dead space, too much to learn.  Life is short, no time to waste.  Oodles of podcasts and audio books await on my phone.

Then there is Google.  Ahh Google.  A wealth of information at my fingertips.  The husband shakes his head at me in wonder.  We drive down the road and I see something that peaks my interest. Immediately I pull out the phone and start googling.  “Listen to this,” I tell him, “here is the point of water towers.”  Seriously?

But wait that’s not all! I like webinars too. Dare I mention that I have already registered for 12 webinars this year?  Or that I start coaching school this month?

Hold on. Wait a minute. 

Press pause please.

In my life I have read countless books, listened to countless sermons and podcasts, and googled countless sites –Where am I going with all this?  When will I have read or listened to enough?  What am I seeking?  What has it done for me?  Has anything changed?  Does the information make me different or do I just know more?  

I don’t want to learn for the sake of learning I truly want my life to be changed – for the better. 

I am contemplating my feverish ambitions.

My thirst for knowledge springs from a desire to be a better wife, mother, leader, coach, counselor, spiritual director, friend, lover, caretaker, pastor’s wife, and most importantly – a daughter of the King.  In many ways, books and podcasts have been my mentor, my counselor, my spiritual director, and life line.  Some books have touched my life so profoundly that I can no longer be what I was before.

In spite of that, I am questioning my obsession. It borders on mania.  No doubt as soon as these sixty books are read, there will be sixty more lined up.  There is no end in sight.  I must hurry in order to get it all done.

I take all these thoughts to Abba this morning and here is what He says to me:

You need to learn to sit still girl.  It does not come easy for you.  Sometimes what I want you to do is be quiet before me.  There is no need to run after every spiritual growth and development book out there.  You don’t have to listen to every podcast or attend every webinar . . . You must learn to be still and to be in my presence without an agenda.  I will teach you all you need to know and I will point you to what you need to read.  I’ve got this baby girl.  There is more wisdom and understanding that comes in my presence then you will ever find in any book or podcast.  Be still and know that I am God.  I am your loving Father.  I know you inside and out, upside and down.  I know exactly what I want to do in you and through you.  I will accomplish my purpose and prepare you for your mission.  It is time to stop chasing growth – it’s time to sit like Mary at my feet.  Let this be your Mary year.”

 

Let this be your Mary year.

I like the ring of that.  I’ve got Martha’s role down to a T.

My response:

I hear you Papa.  I want to learn this discipline of being still. I’m tired of the feverish pursuit of growth and change. The truth is, it is your Holy Spirit that will transform me into your likeness with ever increasing glory.  I want to be like Mary.  I want to learn from YOU.

 __________________________________

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that 

they were unschooled, ordinary men, 

they were astonished and they took note that 

these men had been with Jesus.  Acts 4:13 NIV

My Sunday school teacher shared this verse with us last Sunday.  It practically slapped me in the face.  Whoa!  Oh that I might not be known for my knowledge or expertise . . .oh that it may be said of me, "They recognized her as a woman who had been with Jesus."  I think that only comes from being a Mary.